The Hardest Part of Studying Abroad
Written by: Melissa Quatraro
Some travelers might expect that making friends is the hardest part of a study abroad experience. I've found, however, that keeping in touch with those friends once the trip is over can in fact be the hardest part of all. Anyone who's ever had a positive study abroad experience knows that the time in their foreign country of choice is a surreal time, where bonds are formed with new people and the trials and tribulations of being away from home make you forge a comradery that is unsurpassed by normal every day interactions with strangers. Unfortunately, when everyone goes back home and life begins to normalize, people tend to disband and their priorities shift to reestablishing the ties that existed at home.
So, there are some obstacles to overcome if you want to stay in touch with the friends you made while abroad. Speaking from experience, I have some practical suggestions on how to sustain those friendships while also getting on with your life at home. First, make a goal for yourself as to if and when you'd like to revisit your friends, having a specific time table in mind. Keep this goal at the forefront of your interactions with your friends. Why is this so important? Well, people like to keep in contact when they feel that the relationship is still moving forward. If you and your friends have a new adventure to plan, the need to keep in touch will be an incentive for both of you to do so. Remember, the sooner you plan this first visit, the better, while your friendship is still strong.
Second, concerning keeping in touch in general, you have to know how frequently to communicate. For instance, I found that among my Mexican friends, the girls where more apt to keep in regular contact than the guys. In both cases, however, the correspondence tended to be in e-mail only and go like this: I'd e-mail them; they'd e-mail back immediately; I'd respond immediately; then they wouldn't respond again until I'd sent a brand new message later. So, I've discovered that appropriately timing my correspondence is vital to ensuring a consistent response over time. Here are some tips: one, write only every few months, keeping your presence remembered, while at the same time exciting and new. Two, I found out writing on my friend's birthdays or on a holiday was a great way to ensure a response. Three, write when you have some particularly important news that you know will elicit a prompt reply.
It's not impossible to keep all the friends you made while you studied abroad, but it can be hard work. Just remember to set realistic and definite goals as to when you'll see each other again and also know how often your friends like to keep in touch, trying not to over saturate them with communication while also timing your correspondence so that it is more likely to provoke a response.
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